UK2.XYZ NEWS

A mansplainer accused a Sky News journalist of bringing her ‘personal drama’ to work and her A++ response had everyone cheering

We’ve featured a fair few mansplainers on these pages but we don’t recall one who excecuted quite such a dramatic (humiliating, you might say) 180 degree as this. It all begins with Sky News defence and security editor Deborah Haynes who went on Twitter to say this. On today’s Morning Call, I am wearing a […]

The post A mansplainer accused a Sky News journalist of bringing her ‘personal drama’ to work and her A++ response had everyone cheering appeared first on The Poke.

Masked teenager found guilty of trying to murder 15-year-old schoolgirl

The school went into lockdown and parents gathered at the gates as they waited for news about their children.

Student who murdered uni housemate jailed for life

Jamie Collins, 21, was ambushed and killed in the garden of the home he shared with his killer.

Boy, 16, found guilty after girl stabbed in school had 'obsessive interest in killers'

A 16-year-old boy has been found guilty at King’s Lynn Crown Court of the attempted murder of a 15-year-old girl who he stabbed in the back at Thorpe St Andrew School in Norfolk in March

Hackers steal children's data after company used 'Password1' to protect old account

The data watchdog reprimanded Ogi Networks Limited and Data Cymru after the 2024 ransomware attack.

Allen reveals mental health clinic stay before return

Mark Allen says he is working to "turn things around" and reveals he spent time in a mental health clinic before returning to snooker.

Amber warning issued as Storm Austen threatens UK with strong winds and heavy rain

The deep area of low pressure is expected to move close to the south of the UK early on Friday with south-west England set to bear the brunt.

US citizen Stephen Hubbard freed by Russia and 'on his way home', Trump says

The former teacher has been released without any "swap" required, according to the president.

Donald Trump threatened the Indy’s White House reporter and their response was all kinds of magnificent

To the White House now, where Donald Trump is no stranger to belittling reporters who dare ask him a question he doesn’t like, but on Tuesday he plumbed disturbing new depths. Not least this particular reporter who Trump had already – quite literally – growled at, who tried one more time to get the president […]

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Author Helen Fielding launches award to find the next Bridget Jones's Diary

The Bridget Jones Prize will go to the author of the funniest 1,000-word diary-style piece of writing.

Military slang keeps veterans connected as distance remains the top barrier

Study finds many veterans feel isolated after leaving the forces - but familiar military slang can rekindle camaraderie and bring back happier memories.

Faisal Islam: Inflation and borrowing figures illustrate chancellor's Budget challenge

The economic figures released on Wednesday show the constraints for John Healey as he puts the finishing touches to his Budget.

Donald Trump thanked Nato for ‘giving us Greenland’ and this proud Greenlander surely spoke for the entire internet

Hard to believe we know but Donald Trump is still wanging on about Greenland. You will remember that the American president spent months basically threatening to annex the country which is pat of the kingdom of Denmark but has its own government and parliament and all that. We hoped that the Arctic security pact struck […]

The post Donald Trump thanked Nato for ‘giving us Greenland’ and this proud Greenlander surely spoke for the entire internet appeared first on The Poke.

Amber warning issued ahead of Storm Austen

An amber wind warning has been issued for the South West of England on Friday, with gusts of up to 80mph expected.

PSG's Kvaratskhelia to have surgery on ruptured ACL

Paris St-Germain winger Khvicha Kvaratskhelia will undergo surgery after suffering a knee injury during his side's 4-2 win over Barcelona on Tuesday.

19 favourite savage reactions to Liz Truss’ new book accusing the Bank of England of being behind her downfall

We regret to inform you that Liz Truss is at it again, and by ‘it’, we mean sharing conspiracy theories about why her stay in 10 Downing Street was more of an AwayDay than a relocation. Rather than social media posts and appearances at right-wing and far-right events, she’s put her wild suspicions in book […]

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Actor Noel Clarke pleads not guilty to sexual offence charges

The former Doctor Who and Kidulthood star appeared at Westminster Magistrates Court on Wednesday.

Donald Trump was asked if he’d endorse JD Vance for 2028 and we’re so glad Vance was in the room to hear his answer

With the American midterms only weeks away, and Donald Trump expected to suffer an absolute meltdown in more ways than one, it’s only natural that thoughts turn to who will run for the Republicans in 2028. Trump’s vice president JD Vance is desperate – desperate! – to be chosen, and Trump was asked whether he’d […]

The post Donald Trump was asked if he’d endorse JD Vance for 2028 and we’re so glad Vance was in the room to hear his answer appeared first on The Poke.

Why Eze is struggling to find his form at Arsenal

Eberechi Eze has been struggling for form this season for Arsenal, but there could be hope that the forward turns it around.

Actor Noel Clarke pleads not guilty to six sexual offences

Actor Noel Clarke has pleaded not guilty to six sexual offences.

The government asked people what they’d do with their extra hour this weekend and the replies were so miserable we’ve never felt more proud to be British

The clocks go back this weekend – spring forward, fall back and all that – so we all get an extra hour in bed. Or at work, if you’re doing the nightshift, obviously. We know this because the UK government’s official Twitter account, @GOVUK, just told us. The clocks go back by one hour on […]

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Machete-wielding teen tasered in McDonald's by police after threatening to 'chop' arm

WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT: Theo Gottshalk was taken to the floor of a busy McDonald's by a taser after the machete-wielding teen had earlier threatened to chop a youngster's arm off in a robbery

Chris Mason: Jackdaw approved but tricky energy trade-offs remain

Jackdaw and Rosebank are case studies in the slow motion awkwardness the UK has over energy.

At least 153 people killed in drone strike on disputed Sudan-South Sudan region

A drone strike on a fuel depot in a disputed region on the Sudan-South Sudan border has killed at least 153 people.

Huge crowds watch attempt to save shark stranded in South Korean canal

A third attempt has been made to guide the 9ft 10in (3m) shark back to the open sea.

Boulter wins in under an hour to reach quarters

Katie Boulter moves into the quarter-finals of the Japan Open after she beat Viktorija Golubic in less than an hour.

Australian MP loses both legs after alleged car attack, husband says

Her alleged attacker, 43-year-old Brendan Nugent, faces multiple charges and appeared in court for the first time on Wednesday.

Bodybuilder, 33, dies after collapsing at UK event day before birthday as wife speaks out

The wife of Mateusz Chmura, a bodybuilder who sadly died after collapsing at the PCA British Finals at the Telford International Centre, has spoken out after a fake fundraiser was started

Martin Lewis was trolled for posting a finance poll instead of ending the French riots, and this brilliant reaction was bang on the money

Martin Lewis is the man to go to if you want to stop wasting money, make more of it, or just understand the rules to do with money. He is, after all, the founder of MoneySavingExpert.com and the UK’s most well-known consumer affairs activist. We could be wrong, but we’d suggest that he’s not the […]

The post Martin Lewis was trolled for posting a finance poll instead of ending the French riots, and this brilliant reaction was bang on the money appeared first on The Poke.

Crystal Palace urged to retire bald eagle mascot

Animal rights group Peta is urging Crystal Palace to retire their bald eagle mascot, saying a "bright stadium filled with boisterous fans is no place for animals".

Crystal Palace urged to retire bald eagle mascot

Animal rights group Peta is urging Crystal Palace to retire their bald eagle mascot, saying a "bright stadium filled with boisterous fans is no place for animals".

Man arrested in Pakistan over $126m counterfeit postage scheme

A man has been arrested in Pakistan and accused of running a counterfeit postage operation costing the US Postal Service $126m (£94m).

Ali G is back. But is the character past its sell-by date?

Borat and Bruno creator Sacha Baron Cohen returns as Ali G, more than two decades after the release of Ali G Indahouse.

Man City face new investigation as cash cheat owners could pay ultimate penalty

The Independent Football Regulator will probe the Premier League giants' owners to see if they are 'fit', 'fair' and run the club 'with propriety' - and could order them to sell up

Why Elon Musk is considering a mega-merger of SpaceX and Tesla

Musk says there's "a lot to be gained" by combining the firms in what would be the biggest merger in history.

Boy, 16, found guilty of attempted murder after stabbing girl at school

A 16-year-old boy has been found guilty of attempted murder after stabbing a 15-year-old girl in the back at school.

Robert Jenrick asked his Reform rally audience to stand up if they work, and it backfired spectacularly – 21 funniest takes

We cross now to Reform UK’s ‘100 Days to Save Britain’ rally in Plymouth, which was a slick, statesmanlike affair with sme really good points. LOL. JK. It was every bit the three-ring circus you’d expect from the party that models itself on the second Trump administration. 🚨 WATCH: Nigel Farage is booed by Reform […]

The post Robert Jenrick asked his Reform rally audience to stand up if they work, and it backfired spectacularly – 21 funniest takes appeared first on The Poke.

14 things every home needs to make sure they have now in case of nuclear strike

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has an official website dedicated to preparing for emergencies, including a list of fourteen essential items to always keep at home

Woman given cancer diagnosis by hospital employee who accessed her records

Pippa Boardman says she lost "dignity and privacy" after she was told by an acquaintance she had cancer.

Fabregas and Como prepare for historic Man Utd tie

Serie A success story Como have gone from Serie A to the Champions League - now they are ready for a historic night against Manchester United.

The Aberfan disaster through the eyes of those who survived, 60 years on

It was one of Wales' darkest days that changed a mining community forever.

Sex, lies and police spies: The disputed story of the 'creepy' undercover officer

Andrew Coles denies claims he deceived a young woman into sex while infiltrating an activist group.

Missing German WW2 U-boat found 82 years on

The U-672 sub was identified 20 miles (32km) off Salcombe after divers discovered it in August.

Undercover filming shows lawyer advising how to avoid £45,000 illegal-worker fine

Mohammad Alias Yousaf made his claim to an undercover reporter posing as a mini-mart owner.

Lawyer caught by BBC offering to make illegal-worker fine go away

Because of our investigation, the home secretary has ordered a review of how fines are issued and collected.

Exceeding key climate target is now 'imminent and unavoidable'

Exceeding a key global climate target is now "imminent and unavoidable", United Nations (UN) scientists have warned.

A reporter pointed out the huge flaw in Trump’s new policy, and his snarling reaction had more red flags than a Beijing parade

Tuesday’s Oval Office policy announcement went as well as you’d expect, with the president who waves at imaginary people losing it at some of the assembled journalists for the unforgivable crime of doing journalism. Trump was launching a new anti-fraud initiative, in which whistleblowers could be rewarded up to $30,000 if their information recovers money. […]

The post A reporter pointed out the huge flaw in Trump’s new policy, and his snarling reaction had more red flags than a Beijing parade appeared first on The Poke.

Tough new rules on Brazilian butt lifts and chemical peels proposed

Brazilian butt lifts and other cosmetic procedures that inject filler into parts of the body will only be performed by doctors under new government rules to crackdown on "cosmetic cowboys".

Uganda reacts angrily as Nigeria confirms its first Ebola case

Nigeria has recorded its first case of Ebola during the current outbreak, the country's health ministry has said - as the virus continues to spread internationally. 

I left state secrets on the train - I'm proof you can recover from the biggest mistake of your life

Top civil servant Richard Jackson recounts that fateful day and how he recovered in the aftermath.

Storm Austen to smash 38 UK areas as Met Office issues warning – full list

The Met Office has named Storm Austen, warning that 70mph winds could hit 38 UK areas from Thursday with severe power cuts, travel chaos, and flying debris

Five-month-old baby girl died after 55 hours of missed chances to save her life

Esta High, five months old, died at Leeds General Infirmary in November 2023 after doctors missed opportunities to diagnose bacterial meningitis and start antibiotics, an inquest jury has found

Trump invented a made-up word and a made-up medical procedure in the same sentence, and the internet can’t decide which to fact-check first

Another mid-term campaign stop for the President of the United States of America, another insane conspiracy theory that sounds like it came from a 4chan message board in 2011. Donald Trump made a visit to Dalton, Georgia to drum up support for senate, congressional, and gubernatorial races in the state. As is his custom, he […]

The post Trump invented a made-up word and a made-up medical procedure in the same sentence, and the internet can’t decide which to fact-check first appeared first on The Poke.

JD Vance got interrupted by a heckler and the only thing more disturbing than his response was the reaction of the Maga crowd

The more Maga leaders tour America in an effort to inspire their supporters to keep them in power at next month’s mid-term elections, the more damage they seem to be doing. Donald Trump and JD Vance have popped up in cities across swing states stumping for local candidates and each appearance brings another bizarre, or […]

The post JD Vance got interrupted by a heckler and the only thing more disturbing than his response was the reaction of the Maga crowd appeared first on The Poke.

Prince Harry wants 'to work it out' with his father and brother in bombshell interview

Prince Harry has given his first bombshell interview since he returned to the UK back in August as the Duke of Sussex admits he is looking to "reconcile" with royals

NATO fighter jets intercept British Airways flight due to 'terrorism' fears

NATO fighter jets were scrambled to examine a BA aircraft after both pilots allegedly failed to respond to air traffic controllers, with the flight continuing safely and no sign of terrorism found

Kevin Eldon’s ‘Amish Sex Pistols’ sketch from back in the day will never fail to make our day better

Kevin Eldon is an underrated comedy genius. Even if you don’t immediately recognise his name, you’ll surely be familiar with his face as he’s appeared in so many brilliant TV shows and films including Hot Fuzz, Four Lions, I’m Alan Partridge, Brass Eye, Nighty Night, Green Wing, The IT Crowd, Detectorists, Inside No. 9 and […]

The post Kevin Eldon’s ‘Amish Sex Pistols’ sketch from back in the day will never fail to make our day better appeared first on The Poke.

Gregg Wallace is thinking about making ‘movies’ on YouTube – 14 funniest zero star reviews

Now he’s no longer on MasterChef for reasons we surely don’t need to go into here, Gregg Wallace has been spending a lot of time on YouTube, doing restaurant reviews about Harvester, stuff like that. But it turns out checking out the salad cart or the all you can eat brunch is not the limit […]

The post Gregg Wallace is thinking about making ‘movies’ on YouTube – 14 funniest zero star reviews appeared first on The Poke.

What corporate phrase means ‘we are going to exploit you’? – 17 sayings employees should be wary of

Offices are full of meaningless jargon that workers are forced to tolerate. If you’ve ever had to put a pin in some blue sky synergising, you’ll know what we mean. And while most of these words are just tedious, some of them can be a warning that you’re being taken advantage of. To find out […]

The post What corporate phrase means ‘we are going to exploit you’? – 17 sayings employees should be wary of appeared first on The Poke.

Reform UK’s Lincolnshire mayor Andrea Jenkyns proudly trumpeted a ‘landmark trade deal’ with Taiwan and was schooled into the next millennium

Andrea Jenkyns is probably still best known as being the former Tory MP who once gave the middle finger to protesters outside Downing Street. But she’s doing her best to capture people’s attention as best she can as the Reform UK mayor of Greater Lincolnshire. And even by her own extraordinary standards, her latest pronouncement […]

The post Reform UK’s Lincolnshire mayor Andrea Jenkyns proudly trumpeted a ‘landmark trade deal’ with Taiwan and was schooled into the next millennium appeared first on The Poke.

This lasagne-stealing bear has to be one of the internet’s all-time animal legends

If you’ve been wondering how to keep spiders from coming into the house during their mating season – because your home is not a sleazy spider motel, right? – spare a thought for one family in Connecticut, New England, where their unwelcome vistor wouldn’t have been deterred by a few conkers in the corners of […]

The post This lasagne-stealing bear has to be one of the internet’s all-time animal legends appeared first on The Poke.

UK to deploy fighter jets in Middle East after Saudi Arabia hit by aerial attacks

British fighter jets will help defend Saudi Arabia against aerial attacks from Houthi rebels, Ministry of Defence sources have confirmed, as Defence Secretary Wes Streeting has said has condemned the “absolutely despicable” incidents

Expert reveals why you can’t bin old junk – and can’t ditch your ex

An expert has revealed why Brits struggle to let go of old belongings and stay committed to relationships longer than necessary

‘What age did you realise you weren’t young anymore?’ – 17 wake up calls that the years are flying by

Life, as they say, is short. One moment you’re in school, the next your hair’s greying and you’re wondering how on earth you got this old. This can come as a surprise, because even though getting older happens gradually, it tends to hit you all at once. To find out when the realisation set in […]

The post ‘What age did you realise you weren’t young anymore?’ – 17 wake up calls that the years are flying by appeared first on The Poke.

Sharron Davies said Andy Burnham should be focused on Paris not public transport and these 14 comebacks were simply Olympian

You might have seen in the news that PM Andy Burnham is planning to do something about those incredibly irritating bus and train passengers who insist on listening to their mobiles without headphones. Also in the news are those terrifying riots going on in France right now, with curfews now imposed in cities across the […]

The post Sharron Davies said Andy Burnham should be focused on Paris not public transport and these 14 comebacks were simply Olympian appeared first on The Poke.

Chicken wing loving rapper AJ Tracey searching for most loyal fan of fast food chain Wingstop

Winner will earn their status as the Founding Member alongside the ‘Thiago Silva’ rapper himself and will be announced at the Flavour Club launch party at rapper Stormzy’s bar in London.

25 Funniest Threads Posts to Give Your Day a Lift

Once again, we’ve had a rummage through Threads for funny stuff to lift the mood, and we weren’t disappointed. If you’re not on Threads, perhaps these posts will tempt you to give it a go. If you’re already on there, please show your favourites some love. Just a follow or a share – we don’t […]

The post 25 Funniest Threads Posts to Give Your Day a Lift appeared first on The Poke.

One in five workers putting off having children over parental leave worries

A A recent survey found 78% of workers would be more likely to start a family sooner with better parental leave

A woman reporter stopped Trump’s ‘fake news’ nonsense in its tracks and the humiliation (for everyone) is simply tangible

Donald Trump loves to wang on about ‘fake news’ if a reporter dares ask him a question he doesn’t like, especially if it’s a woman reporter doing the asking. Which is precisely what he was about to do in this particular instance, only for the reporter to reeassure him that, no, she’s actually from a […]

The post A woman reporter stopped Trump’s ‘fake news’ nonsense in its tracks and the humiliation (for everyone) is simply tangible appeared first on The Poke.

Mum discovers 'nice guy's' violent past after Googling him

Sean Marr has been jailed twice in two years for crimes committed against women he met on Snapchat

Andy Burnham brings in new 10-minute parking rule as 'rip-off' fines slammed

Drivers are set to get new rights to challenge unfair private parking charges, including 10 minutes to leave car parks without facing a penalty

Tiger attack victim moved to Yorkshire for 'fresh start' and 'never spoke of past'

William Chapman tragically lost his life when he entered a tiger enclosure at Yorkshire Wildlife Park as his neighbours said he came to Doncaster for a "fresh start" and lived on his own

Is Revolut down? Major bank suffers 'service disruption' as people left 'unable to pay'

Major online banking giant Revolut has been hit by a major outage as dozens of users have seen their card "declined" and others left to unable to pay as they confirm "service disruption"

Prince William and Kate Middleton will 'never forgive' Prince Harry and Meghan Markle

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have returned to public life with their first joint appearance since returning to the UK taking place in Nottingham

Beat mobile bill hikes with 16p-a-day no-contract SIM giffgaff and Sky can't match

With major networks like EE, Vodafone and Sky Mobile expected to increase their prices yet again next year, one lesser-known brand has announced a price freeze

Report set to reveal vast scale of antisemitism in English schools

A landmark report is set to detail the vast scale of antisemitism in English schools and colleges, Sky News can reveal.

Pensioner's 'nonsensical' excuse for 30 sex acts at window and fondling neighbour's bras

WARNING, EXPLICIT CONTENT: Robert May, 73, was blasted by a judge for his "blatantly nonsensical account" after he was caught pleasuring himself at a window and fondled bras of his elderly neighbour

Brit holidaymaker, 41, dies after falling down Spanish stairwell as tributes paid

Brit tourist Lee Jowitt tragically died after a horror fall inside at Spanish hostel as his sister paid tribute to a "truly special" brother following friends launching an appeal to help bring Lee’s body home to the UK

Fiat launches colour-matching service to match drivers with the right car

FIAT has launched a new colour-matching service designed to help drivers choose a car paint colour that suits their personal style and preferences

Around 160 UK schools evacuated over 'threat' as parents told 'collect child immediately'

Police in Northern Ireland are currently investigating a threat made towards several schools this morning with around 160 being evacuated as a precaution with parents told to come collect their child "immediately"

Paedo caught with 3,000 child abuse images as victim's mum says ‘you destroyed my girls'

Mark Edmonds, 61, has been sentenced to 12 years in prison after pleading guilty to 15 sexual offence charges, including eight counts of child sexual assault and possession of Category A indecent images of children

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